Log in

No account? Create an account
11 June 2008 @ 04:32 am

   many ingredients go into this soup, its mostly personal exploration, and personal choice.   feel free to adapt and overcome!!

2 quarts chicken stock
2 chicken breast cleaned and skinned
3-5 medium carrots
3 stalks celery
1 green pepper (prefferably chilie jalops have a different flavor)
 3cloves(big) of garlic (for the adventurous antisocials)
3 bay leaves
5 sage leaves (white is good)
salt & pepper to taste
seasoned salt or soul seasoning
butter (margeraine is fine  hippey)
egg noodles (8 oz is alot,  4-6 is juuuuust right :]  )
the courage to fail, and the want to please

put 2 quarts stock in deep pot to slow simmer,  add 1 finely diced garlic clove, and 1/2 sliced clove to stock. add 3 bay leaves. 2 bruised and torn sage leaves.  add pealed and chopped carrots, and celery. add parsley till pretty, and small amount of oregano (a little goes a long way)

 put a lid on and wish it well. :]      (this is where the  love ingredient really helps.  think of your loved ones enjoying the soup, warming, satisfying and bringing joy to them.  this ingredient is VERY important.  add love.  )     

grab breast firmly(the chicken smartass) cut in 1 inch cubes

cut and clean the pepper, remove seeds top and pith. (discard unless you like it hot) cut in half inch strips

slice the rest of 1/2 clove and mince other whole clove of garlic

chop sage medium-medium fine

simmer butter in small skillet, add garlic, sage and pepper parts  in that order.  

*** note*** the hotter the pepper smell(the more you smell and react to it) the hotter the flavor!!!!!
      if the pepper browns a little and you smell it lightly   small spice or nice light tingle,   pepper browns dark = hot shit!

brown butter, garlic and lightly brown sage and pepper.  add all but pepper to stock
   leave some butter for chicken.  proceed to brown chicken and season with seasoning of choice( seasoned salt or soul)
   add a little butter  to help brown and cook on med-high heat.
   when it all browns well add to stock, put 1/2 cup stock back into skillet and cook off drippings. add back to stock for flavor boost!


remove lid.

add love.


season again.  ( if needed)

remove bay leaves.

add  egg noodles when chicken is soft.

lower heat to med-low     fold noodles into soup  (be gentle its their firt time)

let closest relative test  :] 

Current Mood: excitedexcited
   Wow, i havent read a book of this caliber in a very long time.  i actually feel alive, whole again.  i guess i've closed off alot of emotions, and memories, and i guess it would be filed under "instincts"?   i dont really know how things just faded away, but i do know that the shade of gray ive been in for a while seems to have lightened.  alot of times growing up i did my own thing. i was an only child and didnt really develop friendships until around second grade or so, i had a step brother and sis, but i was still alone most of the time.  it brought back alot of memories i had forgotten long ago just to hear about the boy in the story developing a bond with a dog, barely socializing with people.  and i got a great phone call from jo after her sister and her boyfriend stopped for a visit.  it was pretty cool actually, for the first time i was able to speak with B ( they keep it simple with the names in this family) and found her voice to be quite...well we'll just say exciting and soothing at the same time.  that made me think about the way things were a couple of years ago.  ( and the picture thing still kinda makes me laugh hahaha  im kinda embarassed :] )i use to ask jo if she'd hook me up with her sister all the time, its kinda funny now. i didnt really think about her being much older than me, but i guess i wasnt worried about that. hahaha things were less complicated a couple years ago, and at the same time were all funked up.  shit kept falling through, jobs, people. but i always had a couple friends i could depend on.  at least get drunk with and talk about dumb shit with.  i think at that time i was living vicariously through my friends.  one had the wife and newborn, another was in college getting his edjuhmuhcation on, learnin shit and stuff.  and another was being a housewife in an alien country far from home. and we all got to watch fury go from ZOMBIE!!!! to superterrorizer, now he shoots people with his junk .(good on ya man) we all had a kind of chill that just mixed like a bowl full of pudding in new carpet.  there's just no getting rid of that, its gonna stain. hahaha   we fell in like we knew each other for years, like we all knew each other our whole lives and never skipped a beat.  i say it all the time but i really miss those times,  there was a security then being so close to the people that matter, that you cant buy, let alone ever find with people you just meet.  we had each other at the drop of a hat and never had to worry about inconveniencing anybody. we just showed up almost like clock work.  at times it was the wrong time, its not everyday that you walk in on your friends doin it, but it didnt really seem out of place.... for some odd reason.  it was almost ...normal...    but the comfort of a few beers and good chat, or some wine and music, or just telling dumb ass old stories that usually are mundane between well known friends, but we were all new except jimmy and i, so we told the same old shit again and it had new life. hahaha  and at times we didnt even say anything, just bask in the radiating comfort and great vibes we shared.  "comfort " has been used alot here but it sums it up the best.  ive never been anywhere that i could just walk in the door, sit down and get a smile, or a genuine" whats up man" and truly feel home.  if i would've kicked off my shoes , stuck my hand down the front of my pants, and farted.......i dont think it could've been anybetter.  thats the shit people write books about, thats the shit that keeps people at war living another day.  its something somebody could live a whole lifetime and enjoy once and say they've lived a good life.  few things i've relayed to my grandpa Mac that have ever really taken him out of a contemplative mood like talking about times with my friends.  he kicks back in his recliner, smiles, crosses his fingers, and says "tell me more".  the mans a nuclear physicist, and a retired  lt. col from the navy, but wanted to talk of simple things.  he would tilt his head back and smile while he was absorbing ( i just smelled cherry pipe tobacco, there's none in this house.  somebody's trying to tell me something.    long story, but its a message from someone.) what ever morsel i threw his way.      a kindred spirit, he said i had a wealth of friends, but i didnt completely understand, i thought i did, but i think i actually do now.  he was just like my friends.  i could learn volumes in just one conversation, or just chill.  dammit i want a beer, but its not the same anymore.  i just dont have the drive for it anymore.  they just dont taste the same, or just dont hit the spot like they use to.      i keep stopping and starting and it seems like i skip around alot, its kinda true, my mind is racing and i can only get a small portion of what im thinking down.  i think  id like to travel this summer, i havent been many places. ( my cat keeps looking right next to me and i kinda feel a hum or buzzing but its kinda familiar...kitty seems fine with it so i guess they're cool... i dont really feel alone right now either. its kind of peaceful. i dont know if i'm thinking so hard about my friends, or if there actually is someone next to me  :] )    alright where's my spiritual advisor, oh yeah in fuckin england with her hot ass sounding sister... heh heh man that was hot.  ive always liked the british accent, and german, and italian.  froggy women AND an accent,  it doesnt get much better.  um yeah so uh hmmm...  well now that i've had a FOUR hour nap i think im gonna read and get a bite to eat, and imagine its some succulent  maiden in need of some imminent release.  " sometimes i feel the fear of  uncertainty stinging clear, and i cant help but ask myself how much i let the fear take the wheel and steer. its drivin me before, and it seems have a fake haunting mass appeal ,but lately im beginning to find that i should be the one behind the wheel."    yeeup  that about summs it up.  gotta go do something productive.  :]  love, peace, and chicken grease      im out         BLUE FEATHER!
Current Music: Blackstreet, Alice in Chains, Citizen Cope (sons gonna rise) Incubus
28 May 2008 @ 06:00 am
  it seems a little more today than usual that i feel i have a lot of things that i need to do.  I'd like to do a lot more reading, on many varried subjects, alot more exercising and physical interaction :].  alot more seeing and doing, movin and shaking.  i need to travel, i need to start roots, to start the rest of my life.  I need a little completion.  i'd like to pay off alot of debts. granted most of them are petty and can easily be taken care of if i would just pay them instead of wasting my money on dumb shit. thats what started it in the first place.  i want my own place, space, decent running vehicle. i could realy use a clear head too.  i've been thinking alot lately, but its easily shaken and i go on about my business. Melissa was blown away tonight when i told her over the phone that im wanting to invest in longterm bonds and check on schooling and things like that. one of the few times that i've ever heard her speechless.  :]  and i also regailed her in a huge drunken rambel/rant... she's not use to my intelligent side, and it actually made her wett, thruogh the pants wett.  i must say i need to be drunk and smart more often.  i read her body language and everybody else's in the bar to her and questioned them and her about how close i was and i must say i was batting 3000 that night.  not a single miss the whole night.  it blew her mind, and not to mention her pantiloons full of her lady sauce too.  :]  but  i really feel the clock ticking away and its a mad dash to march to the beat.  i saw Caleb the other night and he's huge,  he's 6 feet tall and about 160 lbs.  looks sharp too.  13 and getting hit by a 17 year old waitress.  kick ass kid  :]  kick ass      we exchannged numbers and talked for a while today, i cant believe how he's grown and still wants me around.  i miss the hell out of that kid.  melissa; i dont think realy understands about that yet, but im sure in time she may come to understand.  things are going well i suppose, but i want things to go a little better.  is that greed?  is good enough not being good enough greedy?  i want more.  better.    im even doing my own blue feather.      in really thinking about new ink, im in a bit of a transition, and i really want something to sum up my pack, the really close individuals in it, and one central idea.   i've got a rough draft, but its just that rough.  several things come to mind, and they're all symbols.  but i cant incorporate them.  ... i cant really finish the work in progress... amethyst here i come.    alots on the mind but it just wont come out, my mind's like a bee hive right now, even has the incessant humming. :]  well its 6:30   i guess i need  to go to bed and all that bull pussy.   love peace and chicken grease.   BLUE FEATHER
Current Mood: restlessrestless
15 May 2008 @ 04:27 am
its been a long day. 
         raining, cold and dismall.  even the heavens seemed to weap a little.  an old cemetary full of memories screaming to be heard... all echoing the same foreboading somber tome.   the trees grew in odd angles around the weathered hunks of limestone and granite. soft ground beckoning the newcomers one and all to a more peacefull place, all but solitary, but not alone by any means.  everyone huddled close together to hear the last few meager words, searching for their warmth only to find it swept along on the chilled wet wind.  no comfort in numbers, no comfort under their umbrellas, no comfort in the family or friend next to you. when you hear the shuddered gasps of breathey sobs, slow low moans, and sniffs you feels exactly like what you are.   cold, wet, alone.  
        silence isn't expected in a cemetary, it has its own reverence.  you can almost hear the silence its so strong, it resonates in everything encompassing you; bleeding the sound from your body as a fat greedy leach bent on explosive bloat.  all the grim faces look dead themselves.  only...aren't they the ones suppose to be alive?  i dont think it was hypothermia setting in that caused the numbness, or loss of color..  few things in this world can so abruptly pull the life from people as efficiantly as death.  not just the host, but all close, and even the average...living being(i was going to say person, but all life feels the ebb and flow of cosmic balance i guess) feels the diffusion of life to a different frequency.  the silence and solitude only add to the ambiance, making the scudding clouds seem more oppresive, heavier, colder.  i think thats what caused the fight or flight responce so well. 
        gripping fear floods through the crowd, one by one you can see it touch everyone. their reaction is almost like clockwork.  if you release yourself a little you can smell its acrid but sweet taste in your nose and nasal cavity. if you let it it'll take you over as well. the foreign enemy invades you like a wild beast on fire. posessing each muscle, each nerve, each thought severing your control making you all the more helpless to its subtle crashing advances.  
         you look at all the haunted faces in the crowd going through the exact same battle you are, struggling to contain just one more tear one more wracking silent sob. you can feel the fear and panic slide away as you study the cornicopia of emotions in these wonderful beings gathered to remember and show love and respect for a fallen comrade, a friend, a loved one dear to them, or someone nearer still to them. a collective realization passes through everyone i guess at the same time, not unlike the fear that seems to be loosing its greasey tendrels. its love and respect that gathers these people from near and far.  a peace moves in, to soothe and balm the ever stinging loss.  and the crowd glows a golden shimmer. a flicker, a spark at first hear and there.  but it catches like a great confligration in these strong timberous peoples, rising to new heights and glowing ever brighter.   showing our loved one off in a blazing funeral pyre fit for a god.         
         you will be missed.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: Dethklok "dethharmonic"
12 May 2008 @ 05:20 am
man its been a long time....  that usually applies to a whole plethera of things.  what do you think of?  its been a while since ive actually not slept through a heavy thunder storm,  since i've really felt peace like that.  since i've seen a couple of close cousins, should have seen one more.  since ive actually had a clear mind. enough to really think of things  in a way conducive to a future, my future, the future.  since i've felt connected to my surroundings, my job, my family, my friends, my planet.  i dont feel lost, i dont feel neglected, i dont feel alone, i dont feel down.  just... here.  like the surreal world of insomnia...things just dont add up, they just dont make scense. and i think the worst part about that is that when you dont know what to fix...how do you know if its even really broken in the first place?!  im not numb, im not cold, im not pissed, or not even restless.  im kinda tired; but im also not excited, not happy, not in control it seems. i think i took the wrong pill and followed the wrong rabbitt.  :]  i think the wheels are turning and im starting to move, but its down hill the wrong way. i forgot to disengage the clutch.  slow progress.  so once again  its been a long time since ive felt like ive made any progress towards something worth while.  i dont realy mean to sound negative, or off, but somethings gotta change for the better.  hard work needs a decent pay off, good choices should result in good placement, or relative karmic decency.  :] right?  ahh who fuckin knows...  i think things are a little off center, a little out of the woods kinda deal.  not many things make much scense right now. i cant figure out why either... they just arent adding up.  things arent clicking,  maybe a good grounding and some sort of karmic enima might help, coffee colonic, karmic style.  :]  sounds refreshing...envigorating even.
07 May 2008 @ 02:05 am
Well i guess for my first post, i'll try to sum up who I am-a rough draft of sorts-and touch on a few things im thinking about.  For starters, I'm verymuch an aries. My name means man of the red earth or first man, Adam by the way...im the first and only child by my parents, i have a step brother and sister, but im the youngest.  Ive lived a responsible life, very dependable, have great examples of what and who a strong man and strong woman should be.  My family are dedicated hard workers, and know how to have fun at the same time.  My father is 50 and works two jobs, concrete by day and is an unloader at fedex by night.  he's a renaisance man in the fullest sense of the word and is part of a dying breed i feal. the man is depended on by many, doesnt know a stranger-he can go half way around the world and strike up a conversation like he's known the person his whole life- children love him, animals flock to him,  and he seems to find peace and reverence in the smallest things.  on the same hand he is 50, hes grown up a farmer, 1 of 7 kids, his father was a paratrooper in the u.s. army.  hes worked for everything he has, and has always taken the hard road to where ever he goes.  the man has very little to show for it also.  we built a house,  $300,000 went into the project and around 4 years of blood sweat and tears, all for him to lose his job, lose the house, lose his confidence and lose a part of the blazing spirit that use to shine like plasma.  his wife at the time cripled him mentally, his step children helped, and the only thing that kept the man from killing himself was... a song and a promise.  lean on me... and a promise that i would follow him to the deepest darkest depths of whatever hell he condemned himself to just to kick his ass and bring him back so i could kill him for it.  :]   i made a promise to follow him if he did kill himself, with whatever device he used, as soon as he did it or i found out.  and i also told him he would miss the most beautifull grandchildren on the face of the planet...mine of course... :]     it seemed to work a little bit.  he said he was worth more dead than alive.   i said to his wife and step kids, but not to me.   fuck the money (please excuse my language) fuck them and fuck everything else in the world.  he was what i wanted. whats money worth without the loved ones to share it with.  the man was EVERYONES harbor in the storm, he was the rock they clung to when they couldnt weather the storm. he was always asked for help and gave freely of his time and health  for anyone that needed it. he gave selflessly constantly.  the only thing that comes to mind when i think of it is Atlas.   he finally cracked.  and as soon as he needed help, noone was there for him, noone would help.  he went a little mad at first and finally gave up... and all that was left was desperation.  one of the most humbeling experiences of my life was the phone call out of the blue saying he loved me and he needed me.          i dont think i've ever been so scared in my life since.  imagine the strongest substance, strongest structure, your sanctuary, your mountain..now think of it melting,breaking,bending, weaping....... years of torment,torture,pain,suffering, all at once in a single moment, in a few tiny infinitesmal     tears.    i knew then what a man was, what i had to be, who i had to be, what i had to do,     the man had no shelter, no lighthouse, no hope, no help, no shield.  only pain and solitude.  i had to be his rock, i couldnt half ass do it, not part not some, but completely be the mountain blocking the onslaught, take his pain as my own, let him bleed into me and heal him in the only way i knew how.  to hold him like a child and tell him i loved him, and tell him i would carry him as long and far as he needed, forever if he needed me to.    i alluded to the great titan, to my childhood awe of him(my da) and how i noticed the build up of his torment.   we talked for hours, drank many beers, and shared many stories of the fairer sex, and our pursuits and failed attempts. everything from hunting woman to hunting game, to fun and fighting,  hell we even talked of fighting eath other, our strategies, and a fight we were both in at the same time, yes i have faught along side my dad and it scared the hell out of me... as a matter of fact  i had to become fierce as hell just to not get outshined.  :]   he patted me on the back and said not bad, i was bleeding from the mouth, he was bleeding from his knuckles :] we bonded in a way only father and son could. i did know his pain, it was my own, and has been since, i know what he felt being the rock.  i am proud to say i am now a rock and will glady bare the burden of being dependable at a greater cost to myself for the greater good of my fellow man...and woman. :]  now with the serious shit out of the way.   i can say thats part of who i am, and always will be.   i hate most of my jobs, have lots of women problems, am a sex fiend, love playstation and all things ninja, was a soldier for a couple months and an avid survivalist, have an odd perspective on life and living in general, and have only a few friends i can depend on.  my "pack" as i call them, and we call each other.  im only serious about a few things, and serious as hell about them.  i laugh at funerals, as i carry the body to its final resting place, i laugh in horror films, cry in comedies, and act unacordingly at the wrong times. but i can usually justify it though.  ive been told im an old soul, and understand what they mean now.   hehe "im not the mesiah, i just learned to let go" and thank you for lending me that book if you are reading this, as im sure you will :]   i can identify with odd things like the words "waveman"  its the literal translation of the word ronin.  the ronin came and went like the waves.  i feal transient in this place and am never happy stagnating.  the few things in this life i am cursed to never have, so i make do with trinkets, and fillers, shinys and prettys, and the odd warm thing that might rub me the right way.  :] i love them whole heartedly, but ive also heard of a family curse about finding the things we want and never having them, like love for instance.  my family are mutts, im black, white irish, and 2 types of native american, and inherited the best of all of them,  :]  j/k  im not an ass like that i just come off that way.   i miss drinking and eating chocolate with a close friend, i miss hunting with another, i miss staying up all night and walking around town talking about our probs with another one. i wish i could have helped another save more lives, and i wish constantly to be around them each and everyone.  i long for companionship and my own little pack,  but alas, no takers yet :]        i need a good drunken widdershins walk around,  its very soothing if i remember correctly.    i really have a shitton more to say but i just dont feal like typing and im kinda hungry,  so love, peace and chicken grease           im out
Current Location: home
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: a medley of sorts